When Jamie Tinsley was diagnosed with a terminal heart condition, aged just 36, his first priority was to minimise the impact on his family, and he decided he wanted to spend his final days being cared for at Birmingham Hospice.
Known as a ‘loveable rogue’ who liked to make people laugh, Jamie was a devoted family man who enjoyed going on family outings with his two sons and one daughter to the beach, theme parks like Drayton Manor, the cinema or bowling. A keen Aston Villa supporter, he often went to games with family members, and also ran his son’s football team. He was well-respected in his role as a data engineer, laying cables for internet services, and was someone other team members often looked to for guidance.
After suffering a cardiomyopathy heart failure in August 2023, he was in hospital for two weeks, followed by a brief period being cared for at home before coming to our Inpatient Unit in early September, where he died four weeks later.
His wife Tracie said: “He was the best husband and father I could have ever wished for. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. He would always put me and the children first, and even up until the day we lost him, he made sure he told everyone to promise that they would look after me and the children for him.
“In August 2023 I came home to find Jamie was hallucinating. He was taken to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, where we received the sad news that Jamie’s heart was failing and nothing more could be done for him. We originally had a lovely nurse from the hospice come and see us but Jamie did request that when he became more poorly he wanted to go into a hospice as he didn’t want the children to see him deteriorate or pass away.”
When the time came to go to the hospice, Jamie had made his peace with the decision, but Tracie was far more uncertain about what to expect. However, she said the team couldn’t have done more to put their minds at ease and make the process as comfortable as possible for everyone.
She added: “Jamie was so calm about going into a hospice, because he had made the decision himself and had prepared for what was to come. On the other hand, I was very apprehensive and didn’t know what to expect. To me it was just a place that someone goes to when they are at the end of life, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. We both felt so welcomed by the staff; they made it feel just like home.
“When the nurses introduced themselves, I remember one saying to me ‘it’s our turn to look after Jamie, you be his wife again’. This is something that I have never forgotten as it just meant so much to me and really touched my heart.”
At first Jamie was looked after on one of the wards but as soon as the nurses found out that his three children – aged 10, 11 and 13 at the time – would be visiting regularly, he was quickly moved to the Family Room that same evening.
Tacie said: “I couldn’t believe how lovely the family room was; it was like a little holiday apartment and it didn’t feel like we were in a hospice. It really was a godsend for us as we could spend time together as a family in a private environment. Being able to have the doors open to the garden was just perfect and we took Jamie out into the garden every day which he thoroughly enjoyed.
“Being in the hospice was so beneficial for Jamie as he had 24-hour round-the-clock care. When he was at home, I was having to make a lot of calls to the district nurse due to him being unsettled – we often didn’t know how long we would be waiting and it wasn’t nice to see him in discomfort. At the hospice, staff made sure he was always comfortable and never in pain.
“The care he received was nothing short of exceptional, and words will never be enough to express my gratitude. Everyone was so kind and caring, and would have a laugh with Jamie which is something he loved and wanted.
“The afternoon we sadly lost Jamie, Abbie and Hayley gave him a wash and change of clothes, and still spoke to Jamie about what they were doing. They were so gentle and caring with him which gave me great comfort.”
The hospice team also made sure Jamie’s family were supported, both during his time there and afterwards. All the family had hand casts made as a lasting memento of their time together, and both Tracie and the children have continued to receive counselling, while Tracie also joined our Good Grief Group for people experiencing bereavement.
“Mo, Sam and Sally from the children’s team came to introduce themselves to me and then met with the children,” Tracie explained. “They were honestly fantastic, and I don’t know how the children would have coped if it wasn’t for these fantastic ladies. They let the children take the lead and didn’t put any pressure on them to talk about how they were feeling; this was done when they felt ready to speak.
“Mo has a great relationship with my three children, and she now sees them for counselling sessions. The support they have received is just incredible and she really has been a massive support for me too.
“After Jamie had passed away, I was referred to the counselling team and I started to have my sessions with the lovely Winnie. She really has been my lifeline and I truly don’t know how I would have coped if it wasn’t for the fantastic support and tools Winnie has taught me.
“She also informed me of a grief group they were setting up and I’m so glad she did, as I was worried how I would manage once our sessions had finished. It has helped me so much, being able to meet other people who are going through similar trauma. I’ve made friends for life, we have a WhatsApp group to communicate each day, and we plan to meet up at least once a month.”
Reflecting on her experience now, Tracie added: “From the moment we walked through those doors, nothing was ever too much. All the staff truly are incredible and the services they provide not only for the patients but for the family really are phenomenal.
“I will always speak highly of my experience there and will always be willing to help put family or friends at ease if they ever need to access the hospice. It made a sad experience just a little easier with the great care.”
